Salt or Pepper?

How do you know which shaker is for salt and which is for pepper? The debate rages.

I believe that in unmarked shakers it is most appropriate for the salt to be placed in the shaker with fewer or smaller openings. Salt, with its robust flavor, should be taken in sparing amounts so as not to deviate too far from the chef’s intent. Pepper can be enjoyed as liberally as one prefers.

Additionally, pepper consists of larger flakes accommodated best by larger or more holes. Salt is heavier and flows smoothly making it easier to shake out too much salt unless the flow is restricted.

The RSVP -- Don't Ignore It

Guests who don’t respond to invitations create frustration for hosts of large events and private parties across the country every day. Ignoring the RSVP must stop.

RSVP is an acronym for a French phrase meaning “please respond.” It is the way for the host to say, “Let me know if you’re going to come so that I can plan accordingly.” Although guests really should respond immediately, hosts even now give a date by when they should respond.

Guests must respond whether they are going to attend or if they must decline. Let me say that another way: You must respond both if you are coming and if you are not. This is information the host needs.

Recently I co-hosted a brunch for a non-profit organization. About 70 invitations went out that included an RSVP deadline. We received about 35 responses declining the invitation, which we were happy to have. A “no” to a host is equally important as a “yes.”

We received about six acceptances. From the other 25 invitations we received no response at all. While etiquette would allow me to call all those who did not respond and ask them personally if they were planning to attend, I did not want to do that. I had issued the invitation; it was then their duty to respond.

When I was no longer able to hold off the caterer, I had to consider the 25 “no responses” as “nos.” My co-host and I decided to cancel the event because of lack of interest. This left us the task of calling the 30 people who had responded “yes” or given no response to tell them of the cancellation.

We made an effort to speak personally with all who had responded “yes,” but most of the rest received a voice mail explanation. Truthfully, I was happy that I didn’t have to speak personally to them. I didn’t want to embarrass them, but I also did not want to inconvenience them by having them show up at a party that had been canceled.

I believe ignoring the RSVP is a behavior pattern that may be a product of our busy lives. People have fallen into a habit of setting invitations aside. Perhaps they feel they don’t yet know what their schedule will demand on that date four weeks from now or the demands of the moment interfere with their ability to make a phone call or send back a response card. That may have been the case a time or two, leading them into the bad habit of ignoring the RSVP and causing a crisis in planning for hosts, brides and event planners everywhere.

To avoid this problem in my own busy life, I’ve made an effort to develop a habit of responding immediately to invitations so that I don’t forget or get so busy that the deadline passes with the invitation under a pile of “to dos” on my desk. I encourage everyone to make this effort with me. The hosts of the world will thank us.

A prompt response and good manners never go out of style.

Photo credit: Christine (flickr.com)