Polite Pilot Teaches Lesson in Receiving

I've been encouraged to comment on Capt. Chesley Sullenberger, the pilot who safely landed a full passenger jet in the Hudson River after a collision with a flock of birds disabled the plane.

Sullenberger’s response to the reaction of the public to his life-saving deeds and his journey to that response has taught us a great lesson in the joy of giving and receiving. Sullenberger wrote in the Feb. 23 issue of Newsweek magazine: “It’s been a difficult adjustment, initially because of the ‘hero’ mantle that was pushed in my direction. I felt for a long time that that wasn’t an appropriate word…. That was why initially I decided that if someone offered me the gift of their thankfulness, I should accept it gratefully – but then not take it on as my own.

"As time when by, though, I was better able to put everything in perspective and realize how this event had touched people’s lives, how ready they were for good news, how much they wanted to feel hopeful again.”

Sullenberger came to realize that the gifts of people’s thankfulness and joy expressed to him were as important for the givers as they were for him.

That is true with any gift. The giver of a gift takes the time and thought to select and purchase something they believe the receiver will enjoy and that will relay a message about their relationship and its value. For all of that sentiment to be conveyed, the receiver must be open to it. She must accept the gift and thoughtfulness behind it.

A receiver who doesn’t know how to accept a gift runs the risk of distancing himself from those who want to show their affection and love. Received indifferently, a gift given in joy can become a source of hurt feelings and damaged relationships.

Since the river landing, Sullenberger and his crew have had to come to terms with the realization that simply by doing their jobs – following their training and valuing the lives on that plane – they became heroes to the people their actions saved and to the rest of us. And that even in accepting the thankfulness and attention of the public, they can remain true to themselves. “That accepting it isn’t selling out,” Sullenberger wrote.

We all should realize that when it comes to giving, heartsense -- that common sense of the heart -- must be present on each end of the exchange.